Getting Started

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Clients are always identifying motivation as a central problem in changing their behavior and instituting new habits. But what is motivation? How do you develop additional motivation? A simple place to begin is with the notion of getting started.

Think of motivation as what’s needed to push against resistance and create momentum. What are your options to generate motion?

  • Lower your resistance
  • Increase your motivation
    • Know your desired outcome
    • Find your personal purpose
    • Feel loyalty to the team, patients, clients
  • Both lower resistance and increase motivation
  • Or, just take a first small action step that requires less motivation and presents less resistance, and creates activity.

With our clients we encourage simple answers that lead to the easiest solutions possible. Just taking a simple action step is often that solution. When I don’t feel like getting on my bicycle for a training session I don’t struggle to find motivation – I just put on my workout clothes. That step pushes past a chunk of the resistance – I’m already dressed – and kindles a bit more motivation – do I want to get undressed after getting this far?

If I’m still struggling, I start again and just pump up my bike tires. Now there is less standing in my way of getting on and riding, and more pull to make use of the clothes and tire pressure – just getting on and getting started is easier.

Figuring out where to start on a list of tasks is similar. Just do the simplest one. It creates momentum and as we learned in science class, a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Be careful not to get caught in too much figuring out how to conserve energy, be most efficient, or organize the work before getting started.

Outline the project – in motion. Set a date and time to get started – step one accomplished. Write a brief summary of the paper – you no longer have a blank screen. List in bullet points some attributes of the employee you need to evaluate – step two will seem easier.

You’ve heard or read us talking about this before? We find that even when people intellectually know what they need to do, they often have no system to cut through the resistance and remind themselves. So this is another reminder – just do the equivalent of standing up and taking a small step. Remind yourself that you don’t need to feel motivated; you just need to take a small step and create a bit of momentum. If that isn’t quite enough, take another small step. Soon you will either have a bit of forward momentum or you will be finished with the task or project – either works.

Steps toward motivation are simple to understand, but they are hard to implement. Having support and an experienced problem solver in your corner can make the difference between just wishing and actually accomplishing. Szifra Birke and Jay Livingston understand people and will partner with you to help you get started and keep momentum going so you get things done. Contact us.

 

Small Changes Lead to Big Results

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Many of us want to change a habit. We want to lose weight, procrastinate less, stop smoking, exercise more, be more disciplined about our spending, get less irritated with people, and so on.

Instead of tackling a new change head on, you can start to exercise your self-discipline muscle in small, consistent ways that don’t seem obvious. For example, if I’m trying to get myself to spend less money, I can build my discipline muscle by resisting my chocolate craving by 10 minutes.

In other words, if you practice changing one habit, it can carry over to changing another habit. This builds a base from which to make other changes. If you teach yourself to wait to eat the chocolate, you are teaching yourself to control an impulse.  If you keep this up, you build increased ability to resist the urge to do things the old way. You can start by pushing back against a small established habit.

  • Spend 5 minutes thinking about tomorrow’s projects
  • Resist checking emails or texts for a couple of minutes when you normally would
  • Stall for five minutes when you want a snack, coffee, cigarette or game of “Angry Birds”
  • Park slightly farther away in the lot
  • Take a different route to work
  • Brush your teeth with your opposite hand
  • Turn off the radio, music and TV and allow your world to be quiet for a few minutes while exercising, driving or walking

There are countless other possibilities; try ideas that feel interesting or of value. Just keep them small and easy to do. The idea is to practice light repetitions that require increased focus; don’t strain yourself.

If you want to increase performance on the job, in a sport, or in your personal life, we can help you stay on track.

If Only You Had

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Is your goal to have a complete picture of everything you did that caused you to misstep? Or is it to improve your performance next time?

Don’t be seduced by the temptation to dissect your latest failure down to its bowels and then beat yourself up for the collapse of your grand plans. Keep in mind the outcome you want – an even better performance next time. To achieve this end you do need to take a clear eyed look at your performance, which will include your failings and weaknesses. And then you need to scan for evidence of strengths you can build on.

The balance of your time, attention and interest needs to be on how you might improve your next performance and that is about “If only I had” rather than “If only I hadn’t.” By looking at what you might do differently you’re ready to notice new solutions, to be more open to new ways of thinking and to start to move toward success rather than to get stuck in critical self-flagellation.

Take three steps:

1.    Review your actions and attitude that accompanied the breakdown
2.    Consider what you might have done differently to produce a success
3.    Practice the new action and attitude before they’re needed

In order to be an effective coach for yourself in the heat of your next disappointment, prepare a simple coaching prompt that encourages you to keep looking forward. Think about the situation where you might use a prompt and practice saying it until you are sure it will remind you of exactly what you need to do.

•    The coaching prompt might be – “If only I had”
•    Use it when you feel yourself getting caught by feelings of self-recrimination, disappointment or discouragement.
•    “If only I had” “If only I had” – “I need to let the failure go and think about what I could have done differently.”

Practice can of course be actual physical, out-loud verbal or visualization and internal. Remember, if you recently failed to achieve what you think was a realistic goal, in the process you practiced an ineffective action or approach. So you will be ready to use it automatically next time, you need to invest some time practicing a different approach.

Often having a coach to practice with makes all the difference. We’re here to help.