Is Your Life Working Well?

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We think about Return on Investment (ROI) only in the context of money and profit, but I want to encourage you to consider investing time to assure your future will generate the happiness you want.  Is your life working for you?  Could it use a small tweak to work optimally, or does it need more? I want to touch on some things to think about when you are considering a transition. Read on!

I’ve discussed transitions, one of my favorite topics, in previous posts. The question of what you’re going to do in the next phase of your life trips many people up. We often assume we know what will make us happy, but discover almost too late that happiness is still elusive.

Research and experience show that happiness comes to each of us in a number of flavors, some of which melt rather quickly. It may help to consider what flavor or level of happiness you want to put your effort into pursuing. You have options whether you’re looking at a career change, thinking of adding an avocation or hobby, or searching for a complete makeover.

Positive psychologists—those professionals who look at strengths and successes—talk about three phases of happiness: pleasure, engagement (or flow), and meaning.

Pleasure

This is the simply feeling good part of happiness—going to the beach, taking a trip, trying a new restaurant, buying a new piece of clothing or car, watching the sunset, and so on. If you are working really hard now and contemplating cutting back, time for more of those pleasure moments may be enough— a chance to relax and take a break from any responsibilities.

Engagement

To many people’s surprise, even really great pleasure of the first kind gets old after a while. Boredom, restlessness, or loneliness usually begins to creep in. That’s when you may realize you need the second level of happiness, engagement—something you can sink your teeth into a bit. Maybe study the piano, plan a garden, join a Makers group, start playing golf again, pick up a hobby, study a language—i.e. engagement with other people or activities that are personally interesting, or that matter to you.

Meaning

Some of us will get hungry for something even bigger—creating a legacy or just wanting to give back. This can happen throughout our lives; for some of us, the need increases as we cut back our money making activities. We want to give back—to offer our talents, services, energy to those who can use it. We seek meaning— a feeling of having a larger purpose and contributing something to others and to society.

Any transition is likely to be more satisfying if you’ve set your sights on the level of happiness that will give you the type of pleasure you’re looking for. Here are a few steps to play with to get you started:

Think about how to create possibilities for yourself

If you know what you want, think about ways to get support to begin creating it.

If you’re feeling restless to make a change, but don’t know what direction to go in, try something. Try and then adjust as you learn. It’s better than standing still in frustration or confusion.

Research is one form of action—get online, interview people who are doing “it,” read books about transition or happiness, ask a coach.

Plan a goal and some details

Whether you’re still working, working part time or almost retired, plan! We often can’t wait to get “there.” But once we reach our goal, we face a blank slate and a “What now?” vacuum that is very uncomfortable. Begin to plan some of the details now.

Think about how to make your life richer and more resilient with a diversified life portfolio—different areas of happiness so that one or more will continue to be viable and interesting. What would a satisfying day to day life look like? Would it have social connections, exercise, learning opportunities, giving to the community and family? What else?

Either way, please take the time to make the changes that will make a big difference in your life—at work and at home.

Lately so many clients have been looking for assistance with a transition in their lives that I want to announce that I will be facilitating a group on making a transition in your life. My “What’s Next” group will help you think more clearly about the what, when and how of making a major transition in your work or personal life.

Successful Transitions

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The transition from an old to a new process or system, from a previous manager or key employee to a new hire, or any other change is tough. Understanding more about how to manage the process will make it all go a bit easier. With the right information you can make a difference between a successful transition and one that just doesn’t work well. This post highlights some aspects of change based on “The Transition Model,” by change expert William Bridges, whom I had the pleasure and opportunity to study with. Besides reviewing this article, you might also find it helpful to watch Change expert Naomi Karten and me discuss change and transition.  Coping with Chaos: Change and Transition

Even a positive change like a new piece of equipment can make people feel uncomfortable. The most common reaction to change is to second-guess it, or even resist or oppose it. By understanding why your team is dragging their feet or expressing reluctance, you will be in a better position to help them accept and ultimately support the change that is coming.

William Bridges distinguishes between changes—something that happens to us by our own choice or is thrust on us—and transitions—the process that happens in our minds and feelings as we go through a change.

Change can occur quickly, in a moment in time—the day we got a promotion; signing the closing papers on a home; buying the business; hiring a new office manager. But the internal transition is usually slower. It simply takes time to get used to a change.

There is a tendency to go through three stages as we move through a transition:

1. The Ending—things as we know them have changed.
2. The Neutral Zone—an often messy time sort of muddling about before moving on.
3. A New Beginning—a new status quo develops as the change is consolidated.

People move through transitions at different paces. Entrepreneurs may jump from an old to new business adjustment much more quickly than their employees or team members. Some people will need to linger in the Neutral Zone while trying to understand or accept a difficult feeling change.

Here are some ideas about how to help make a transition more efficient and comfortable so your team can execute as quickly as possible:

Endings

•Slow down the process in order to speed up the process. Invest the time now to eliminate future problems.
•Be open and transparent about what’s going to happen.
•Emphasize what will stay the same—values, schedules or whatever.
•Accept that there will be resistance. Listen to peoples’ feelings. Listen to concerns. Listen to fears. There will be denial, anger, sadness, disorientation, loss of identity, frustration, and uncertainty. Listen well.
•Be clear about how you will help them adjust. Offer training and resources they may need, which you’ll discover because you were listening!

The Neutral Zone

•The way you help your team prepare for the coming change will determine how long people may muddle about before getting on with the new change.
•Expect some people to feel overloaded and uncertain or confused. Others will feel impatient. It takes time to adjust to a new management system or style.
•The leader who pays attention can often find ways to offer support that will keep the process moving.

The New Beginning
You know you’ve arrived at a stage of acceptance and renewed energy when people begin to embrace the change. They start to see their efforts pay off and to feel more comfortable. Don’t let down now. You need to help your team sustain their energy and enthusiasm.

•Help people see how their personal goals connect to your long-term vision and objectives.
•Be certain everyone hears how team members implement the change successfully.
•Acknowledge peoples’ grit and persistence.

This is the quick executive summary but implementing any piece will likely help make the transition go more smoothly.

If you are about to implement some change, anything from hiring a new key team member to changing some part of your system, let us help you strategize how to more effectively implement the change. We can even come in to help your team see their way through it. If you’ve currently stalled, call or email us and we’ll show you how to get moving again.